You’re Being You All Wrong: Why Fixing Yourself Is Keeping You Stuck

You keep trying to fix yourself, but the truth is simple: the problem is not you. The desire to improve yourself comes from good intention, and that effort deserves respect. But before you try to change who you are, you need to understand what “you” actually means. Most of what you think is you is not your true self—it is learned, inherited, and conditioned .

From the moment you were born, you entered life in a pure state. As a child, you were naturally curious, present, creative, and connected. Over time, you were taught how to survive in the world. You learned how to be acceptable, how to fit in, how to protect yourself, and how to compare yourself to others. None of this is your fault. It is simply how conditioning works .

What you call “you” today is often a collection of fears, survival habits, and borrowed beliefs. You learned to worry about money because others worried about money. You learned to doubt yourself because doubt was modeled for you. You learned comparison because culture taught you to measure your worth against others. Eventually, you confused this conditioning with identity .

Your name, your history, your body, your culture, your personality traits—none of these are who you are. They are expressions. Tools. Roles. Your thoughts and emotions are also not you. They influence your experience, but they do not define your essence. At your core, you are awareness. You are consciousness. You are the one noticing everything happening within and around you .

Because you identify with a false version of yourself, you spend much of life trying to fix, change, or improve something that was never broken. You chase techniques, motivation, and quick solutions, believing that effort equals growth. Often, effort is just resistance. You push harder instead of aligning deeper .

You also believe that being yourself means holding on to your past. You define yourself by trauma, labels, and old stories. The past feels familiar, so you protect it—even when it no longer fits. But your past is not your identity. It is a reference point, not a destination. Holding onto it slows you down and pulls you away from the life you are meant to live .

Your desires are not distractions. They are guidance. What you desire is pointing you toward your true self. You are not being pulled forward by fantasy; you are being drawn toward alignment. When you focus on what you truly desire—not what you were taught to want—you move with less resistance and more clarity .

This is where embodiment replaces self-improvement. You are not here to become someone else. You are here to embody who you already are. You do not wait to feel confident before acting. Confidence comes from alignment, not preparation. When you begin living as the version of you that already understands, things shift naturally .

Being you is not effort. It is alignment. It is the moment you stop performing, stop proving, and stop seeking validation outside yourself. When you stop trying to earn worth and start recognizing it, ease replaces struggle. Movement replaces force. Flow replaces resistance .

You are allowed to outgrow who you were. There is no guilt required. No shame necessary. Your journey unfolded exactly as it needed to. The moment you recognize this, momentum increases. You move closer to what feels true and further away from the identity that no longer serves you .

The correct way to be you is simple. You choose who you are now. You respond instead of react. You live from intention instead of habit. You let your desires lead instead of your fears. You stop fixing yourself and start standing as yourself .

You are not being you wrong because you failed. You were simply taught a version of yourself that was incomplete. Now, you get to choose again.

Peace and abundance always

Dr. Abundant